“It is easier to do a job right than
to explain why you didn't.”
This is probably one of the MOST important lessons for you to learn.
To meet expectations you have to do life right the first time.
But here is the irony, most people fail at doing things right the first time because they worry about doing things right the first time. And sometimes it isn’t you worrying about doing it right, but someone close to you (e.g. your parents) that will screw you up. If you let things happens organically and trust the system then everything will be okay.
But what about all the self improvement guys who say I should F the system and start my own business?
Those types usually have personality flaws that the system hates (not obedient, arrogant, lies, cheats, etc.). Or chances are they already screwed up once (got kicked out of school, got a girl pregnant in high school, went to jail, etc.) and now they are forced to do things differently.
The truth is most people only bother with self improvement when they screw up their life. If you do things right the first time, your skills and abilities will naturally improve as society guides you. There is no need for self improvement material in the best scenario.
Keep this in mind: you only get one chance to do things right the first time.A little circular there, but what I mean is once you screw up, the rest of your life is going to be thrown off course. It might be off by only a few degrees, but it’ll always be there.
While you shouldn’t worry too much about doing things right the first time, you should be proactive and protective against external factors that could keep you from doing life right.
I am going to list what you should always do to make sure you go about life the right way. You should already be taking these actions (unbeknownst to you), but if you can learn to identify them chances are you will keep doing them and never fall off course.
How to do things right the first time
1.) Use Organic Decision Making
I am introducing a new term here: organic decision making. There is a direct correlation between your success and happiness, and how many decisions you make that are organic. In other words, organic decisions are the best and only decisions you should make in life.
Organic decision making is simply letting your community (friends, parents, teachers, etc.) always guide and help you in your decision making.You need to talk to them openly about everything. Transparency, honesty, and, most importantly, trust is key for this to work. Even though the majority of people aren’t that smart in this world, organic decision making is the reason why our society cannot only function, but thrive. Be wise and learn this skill, or else a bunch of clueless people can easily leave you in the dust every time.
Finding the right people to have in your decision making is key as hiding the truth, deception, and nonbelievers (i.e. not believing your facts, ideas, or opinions on the matter) makes organic decision making impossible.
WARNING: If someone in your community has an ulterior motivate (deception), not only will it not work, but you will probably end up making the worst decision possible. If you sense someone has an ulterior motive (even if that person thinks it’ll be to your benefit in the end) you need to remove that person from your decision making process. Possibly even your life. In my experience, even confronting them about their ulterior motive doesn’t change anything. They’ll keep playing dumb and still try to influence your decision. If they can’t, then they’ll even start to lie and manipulate you to achieve their ulterior motives.
Finally, for organic decision making to work, people must have a willingness to help. This is why a therapist rarely works. Besides sometimes having an ulterior motive (money), they don’t care to hammer out the details like someone who truly cares about you would.
But I don’t have a community I can trust, or I have no community at all.
If you don’t have a community or can no longer trust your own community, the best thing you can do is trust your intuition. You intuition will always push you towards your best decision, but the odds are low that you’ll make that specific, best decision (because the best decision always involves a lot of details and a lot of steps which you probably won’t figure out by simply following your gut).
But what you can also do is ask a stranger for advice. No, you can’t ask them big life questions like what you should do for a career (nor can you really ask a trusted community either; it is too general), but you can ask them something specific. For example, you can ask a stranger of the best hospitals in the area (since you just moved there) because (trusting your intuition) you want to become a medical assistant. I guarantee if you ask an older person this they’ll have a ton to say.
You may not necessarily become a medical assistant, but you are starting a dialogue that will help guide you towards your most beneficial path. See how that works?
You can plan all you want, but it can never compete against organic decision making. Why? Cause your little amount of research can’t compare to a lifetime of knowledge and experience applied to your specific situation. Now add even more lifetime of experiences (more people) and different ways of thinking about your problem that you cannot. Organic decision making is your best bet. End of story.
Organic decision making is really just open communication. If you can do this withpeople you can trust, then everything will be okay.
2.) Let the system guide you
I know, there are so many self improvement blogs saying to quit your job because the game has changed and to own your brand. Dude, there are and always will be people who are perfectly happy being apart of a bigger, structured system. Even if that system is one that gives you a W-2. They are fine because it is a means to an end and it provides for them better than working for themselves ever could.
Usually, the only time the system is bad for you is when you didn’t make an organic decision about your life. For example, someone with an ulterior motive twisted your arm into getting a crappy job, degree, or living arrangement. You lost contact with people who supported you and are now surrounded with people who hate you. While you may still think you are apart of the system, you actually dropped out a long time ago with that bad decision.
Once you get out of the system it is terribly hard to get back in.
The system will develop you better than on your own.
The system will develop you better than on your own.
You think you can do a better job, but you can’t. For example, you think you can do a better job because you found that blog about that secret, cutting-edge workout routine and nutrition guide. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter cause the system forces consistency, diagnostics, and measurables. They may not be the best out there, but they are better than your sloppy, half-ass, and inconsistent version of the “best” or “secret” practices.
Don’t believe me? Who do you think is going to do better working out for the first time in their life? Some guy all alone at his home, or a guy with a group of friends at the gym motivating him, showing him the ropes, and ringing his doorbell when he doesn’t show up.
Even if you did turn yourself into a badass bodybuilder on your own, you probably wasted so much time (our most valuable resource) figuring it out that it cost you so many other things.
With virtually no exceptions, using the system to develop yourself is your best option in all aspects of life not just fitness.
Plus, there are other benefits such as a sense of community and a support system.
Trust me, you don’t want to give these up.
3.) Plan things (with people) well ahead of time
Everyone plans to some degree. But the questions are: do you plan early or do you plan late? Do you have someone help guide you make organic decisions or do you try to do everything on your own?
If you plan early and organically, you should be fine. And as long as your plans are notrotting, there should be nothing to worry about.